- BREAKING: Cetriolo Jettolini spotted over Asbury again
- Nuvolino Fischietto asleep at the crosswalk. Traffic fine.
- Tazzone Pollastro announces no seconds today
- Pizza slice on a skateboard clocked at 31 mph
- Ice cream cone left on boardwalk railing. Owner unknown.
- Conetto Spoonacci stirs the gutter, declines comment
- Rospo Tostapane on hot dog number six
- Forecast: drippy
The Roster
Everyone you will run into this week. Tap a card for the full photo.
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Sidewalk Legendary
Conetto Spoonacci
Speed: 3 / Stir: 11 / Vibes: unmeasurable
Works the corner of Maple and 3rd. Stirs anything left unattended. Nobody has asked him to stop.
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Kitchen Mythic
Squalino Pizzarolo
Speed: 9 / Crunch: 12 / Grease: yes
Skates the kitchen floor after midnight. Bites only crusts. Has never once taken off the sunglasses.
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Cafeteria Rare
Tazzone Pollastro
Speed: 4 / Sternness: 10 / Refills: unlimited
Runs the third-period lunch line. Disappointed in you specifically. The baguette is for emphasis.
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Boardwalk Epic
Cetriolo Jettolini
Speed: 14 / Brine: 8 / Altitude: rude
Buzzes the boardwalk twice a day, low. The seagulls have filed complaints. He has not read them.
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Crosswalk Uncommon
Nuvolino Fischietto
Speed: 1 / Whistle: 10 / Chance of rain: 30%
Directs crosstown traffic from 8 to 4. Mostly asleep. The taxis listen anyway.
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Gas Station Rare
Rospo Tostapane
Speed: 2 / Toast: 9 / Ribbit: medium
Lives on the counter at the gas station off Route 35. One hot dog per hour. The toast wings are decorative.
Around town
Photos from this week. Tap one for a closer look.
Wear the Slop
Shirts and mugs. Redbubble prints each one when it's ordered and ships it to you.
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Headache? Someone's Building a House in There
Most headaches are construction noise. A crew is framing a house in there.
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I Can Spin 9 Apples In My Head
Nine apples, one eyeball, steady orbit. A normal Tuesday.
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Scuba Mode Activated
When the room smells, the mask goes on. The jellyfish are the smell.
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Stop I'm Crine
The sun laughed too hard and melted into the sea again. It does that.
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Fries (Get to the Point)
Downtown is mostly fries. Fries. (Get to the point.)
Shop on Redbubble (opens in new tab)
The shop is new. If a link doesn't load yet, Redbubble is still reviewing it. Check back, or browse the full KulkaSlop shop (opens in new tab).
About
KulkaSlop is art and apparel by Mike Kulka.
Everything here drips a little. That's normal. The shirts and mugs are printed on demand through Redbubble, so each one is made when somebody orders it.